Jelly Donuts, Oprah and Celery Juice - Fixations
How do habits form, become routine?
In my experience, by anticipating them and making them a reward.
Two of my biggest fixations to date, at age 12-16, and from around 37-46 or so?:
1. A jelly donut at Dunkin' Donuts, in Copley Square, anticipated every day on my subway ride home; a reward for then making my way to ballet.
2. Oprah, every afternoon, anticipated for hours, while playing yet another round of yatzee , yu-gi-oh or playmobil with my kids. She was a reward for so few adult conversations in my day.
And so many more daily pacifiers, over the years:
a glass of red wine and/or chocolate when the boys were asleep
"General Hospital" with my mom every afternoon
triscuits
diet coke
chocolate chip cookie making (this included batter eating) many afternoons in my childhood
oreos
doritos
Sedutto's ice cream
Benson and Hedges Menthol 100s
Camel Lights
coffee (my consistent favorite)
bagels, bialys, english muffins, muffins. With lots of butter.
I quit smoking years ago. But only after finding out that I was pregnant.
Because I am gluten-intolerant (and is it any wonder?) I can't eat the cookies and breads that I used to love. I still eat a piece of toast with butter when I'm stressed (gluten free, so loaded with sugar.) But now, I recognize it for what it is. I think about it as I put the bread in the toaster. This awareness keeps me from going for more.
And I've countered my vices with some habits that keep me sane (well, more anyway) - Frequent yoga and meditation, and yes, 16 ounces of celery juice, every single morning.
I confess - if I did not have a routine loving, disciplined, virtuous, do the right thing partner, I may not be doing as much of the meditation and yoga. But the food - what I have learned from my own illnesses and now, the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, about the food! My allegiance has honestly changed from refined carbs. to mangoes and dates.
I've rediscovered a love of cooking. My burn-out from almost two decades of cooking for a family was cured with a bit of a break. I'm back. Here is what we ate on the cleanse tonight - Spaghetti squash (roasted first) mixed with carmelized onions that were sauteed with mushrooms and swiss chard. Naturally sweet and filling.
